Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Completely His?

Has anyone out there read Shannon Etheridge's Completely His? I purchased it a while back and while I was sick a few weeks back I decided to pick it up. I gotta be honest...I couldn't get through the first chapter!!! Her words were jumping off the page at me, but I couldn't swallow them at all. I think, at first, it shocked me...if you have read the first chapter then you will know what I am talking about. It brought me to recognize more fully my "burning bush" experience, but in my heart and mind this is what I was thinking...
God, normally when you lead me to something you are (obviously) teaching me something through it, and honestly, (as if I couldn't be more honest with HIM!), I am not ready for what you want to teach me through this.
Have you ever thought that? Have you ever said that - I am not ready for what you have to teach me through this??? I explained it to my husband, because I was really shaken up by the things my mind was trying to wrap around. Here's what I said to my husband...
As a mom, and like most parents, I am in a protection mode when it comes to our son. "Don't run toward the street!" (a car could hit him), "NO, you can't go into the boy's bathroom, because mommy can't go in there and you have to go into the girl's bathroom, even though you desperately want to prove to me how big you are" (there could be someone waiting in there to snatch him and well, let's just stop our minds there!). I KNOW! I KNOW!
If you are one of my best girl friends reading this, or even remotely know me, you are saying exactly what I have already said to myself...I am OFTEN motivated by, dare I say it, FEAR! It's the fear of the unknown, like what or who might be lurking in that bathroom (but gracious alive, he's not even 4 yet!), and then it's the instinct to want to protect your child.
I can reason it in my mind like the best of them, okay. I can argue with the Lord all I want, but ultimately my protection won't be enough. God, the ultimate protector, will prevail. And gracious, if you just stumbled on me and my life, you will know that I know that sometimes things, not so great things, happen to very good people - friends and family - people we love and care about. THIS IS NOT A NEW CONCEPT TO ME! I guess, right now, I am learning to turn over even more of myself. My control freak grip gets tighter and tighter and my mind spins in circles and yet I hear the Lord's comforting words and I have to be intentional about accepting them. It's about turning off Satan's words in my head too...the constant bad thoughts that something could happen, and going back to the book, would I be like that family and trust and forgive so easily. I want to be that person, that family, but then I say..."Don't test me on it, Lord!"
If anyone out there has read the book, I would be interested in knowing your thoughts.


Tina said...

Fear does have potent tendrils into our lives doesn't it. Thank God for his peace!

I've just started a new blog and have been cruising around the blogosphere for blogs that will inspire me and those who may visit my site.

I found you on the christian blogosphere blogroll. Many of the blogs there are not kept up to date so I am going to add you directly to my own blogroll if you don't mind.

God bless, and do pop by when you get a chance and let me know what you think of my little space.



Lightening said...

I haven't read the book but I can totally relate to the whole issue of fear. It is extremely hard to let go and let God. :(

I'm just doing some blog browsing and have happened across yours just now. Your header graphic is just beautiful!!! :)

Hope you're having a good day. :)


Becoming Me said...

I have not yet read this book but it is on my must read list. I hear it is wonderful. fear is the root of so much heartache. I know that if I am feeling angry, 9 x out of 10 it is fear based. I'm so glad I found your blog.

Anonymous said...

I have not read the book, but you sound JUST like me! I think that the more I read the news, the more fear I have. Yet fear is not from the Lord. I guess I am also too aware that bad things happen to good people And I get scared.

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