Monday, November 13, 2006

The Dreaded Note

Boo's attitude about obeying have been less than stellar lately. So, I kind of wasn't surprised when I received the note home from his teacher on Friday. Boo "has been disobedient and hitting his friends recently"...hm. I have noticed the change in him only recently, maybe about 2 weeks ago. He started putting up more of a fight at bedtime and just the constant statement of NO. It's been really tiring. So....
This weekend, we decided to change our habits. Friday after school, Jeremy and I had a long talk with him about the situation at school, we also decided that evening that no TV shows would be permitted for the rest of the day, and most importantly that we would pray about this. He agreed to the above and seemed to do better that evening. We also went back to something we used to do with bed time...straight from SuperNanny. It seems to help him more and although it takes time, it's worth it if it works. After we put him in his bed, I sit next to his bed for a few minutes. We can't talk to each other, so I take this time to pray silently for him and for our family, and depending on the amount of time, I pray for whatever the Lord brings to my mind. Every few minutes, I move closer to the door, until I finally say a final goodnight and leave. Every night the distance between him and me gets bigger as I move the starting point closer to the door. Now, I must say, this works MOST OF THE TIME, but there are the nights where honestly, nothing works, and you just have to leave and trust that he will learn to get in the bed and close his eyes. Last night proved to be that night. I did the sitting by the bed, then sitting by the door, then sitting outside and yet he still wouldn't stay in there, so after30-40 minutes, it was up to him. He cried at the door for a while and then....he went to his bed by himself.
I think I don't give him enough rope at times. He is only 2 1/2, but he is also a very smart 2 1/2. Boo has just always been the kid who needed to cry it out or figure it out himself. When he was little, he would cry for several hours at night and then just all of sudden stop. That would be it, and he would be happy and go to bed and Jeremy and I would just sit there and look at each other with wonder. He's just a kid who has to learn and do it himself at times.
I guess that's the prayer I think about the most....and pray the most often. Help me, Lord, to nurture him and direct him in the straight path, but help me also to allow him to learn and do things on his own. I think that's a huge deal in today's world...some parents let kids run crazy and others don't allow them to explore on their own. Finding that happy place is a huge prayer and responsibility to me.

I hope each of you is having a blessed day in Jesus!

--Karen

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4 comments:

CJ said...

You are such an amazing mom! It's difficult to know when to move closer to our children and when to allow them to move away, especially at this age!! You seem to be handling it just as He would!

Anonymous said...

I had a tough time with my son too, from day 1. Since he had medical problems, and he was the type to never cry himself to sleep, we did things a little different. I ended up laying down with him until he fell asleep. That lasted until he started kindergarten. The first night of kindergarten we told him, that he was big enough to go to sleep without Mommy, and he had grown too big. So we did the usual bedtime routine, including me praying outloud with him, and then we said good-night. That first night he cried 6 times throughout the night. Each time he cried, I would go and assure him that everything was ok, a kiss, etc, but then immediately left. The next night he was so tired from school that it was much easier. We limited his drinks, to no shorter than a half-hour before bed, and kept the routine the same everynight. We usually had cuddle time before bedtime.

It's hard, but for us, he's been a high-need, special needs kid, (see my other blog~ the link is on my 'lighthouse' blog. We needed to do some things that worked for us.
Keep me posted.

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